Minimizing Risk

Minimising Risk: Summary Description:

Garvin is Risk Averse to the extreme, wanting statistics and assurances before he opens the door to strangers or tries new things. Empathy is in short supply and only earned through trust and even then with prior notice of any future ailments that may require his intervention and or assistance.

George on the other hand has empathy in overabundance, after all, he has a direct line to the universal flow and the higher deities within and is pretty sure that everything will be all right on the night and just work itself out, although he still prefers to peep through the letterbox from behind his front door whenever he hears a knock in the middle of the night.

You can be damn sure Criminals, Chancers, and Neighbours in dire need will have a totally different experience depending on which joker answers the door to them.

If you are having a heart attack and in need of medical assistance you better have your Passport and supporting paperwork with you and in triplicate if Garvin is to answer the door to you.

George might make you a cup of tea and give you a cupcake through the letterbox before he calls for the ambulance. On second thoughts, did you see the price of calling for an ambulance, so be clear if you call to Georges, he is the Ambulance and a waiver will need to be signed if you want a ride in it.

George is impatient at the best of times but 20 minutes wait time for an ambulance gives him the perfect excuse to get his Halloween costume out early, in the blink of an eye he is in full paramedic regalia and has his Neeh Naah Flashing Red and Blue Light on the roof of his Toyota Yaris. Before you know it, he has the Neighbour now Patient "Compos Mentus" or not bundled into the back and en route at high speed to the local AE hospital. Luckily he hadn't found the cork screw for the house red before the knock at the door, so no potential drink driving points off his licence this time.

At the AE he pulls in onto the footpath in front of a Police Car to their incredulous surprise. He waves at them as he bundled the half conscious patient out of his car and into causality, "Its Ok! Its Ok! I am Sober! and this Man is not a Criminal!..Oh! And he has signed the Waiver".

Garvin on hearing this story starts to worry retrospectively on Georges behalf and goes straight to his "Could Have, Would Have, Should Have" Routine. "Are you mad? You could have been mugged! I would have waited longer to let them in and waited on the ambulance, You Should have waited on the Ambulance you took on the Responsibility and the Risk of being Sued". George tells Garvin to give his Chatter Box a clip around the side of the head, it has gone all "Negative" again, even after all his training and coaching.

Garvin blames the Insurance Culture on his Change of Empathy over the years. Garvin reminds George of the Film "Hitch Hiker", This is Garvin's excuse for not picking up any of his neighbours while en route to the Big City. He Actually has a Glove Box full of brown envelops with a single 5 Euro Notes in each attached to a small printed note saying "Here is your Bus Fare, I can't pick you up, I have a Hitch Hiker Phobia since watching the Film of the same name". His Neighbours always try to stick their "Thumb Out" when they see Garvin pull out of his Drive. If Garvin didn't know any better they seem to be actually queuing up now. His Neighbours can be heard saying down the town, sure where else would you get a car heading off at speed with an Open Passenger Window that Dispenses 5 Euro Notes at the sole cost of sticking your thumb out quick enough.

To Garvin's consternation and bewilderment, he now spends most Monday mornings licking brown envelops and stuffing fivers into them along with his phobia notes. He is now considering whether it makes more financial sense to hire a bus to the city to drive behind him and pick up anyone who wants to go when he is going as it may well be cheaper in the long run. 

This Town is becoming more and more like the Wild West. The Jesse James Gang and Billy the Kids are on every street corner now with COVID 19. In a Rural Town, you could be Shot or at the very least Ostracised if you sneeze or cough within 200 yards of anyone, If you have hay fever or allergies, for God's sake stay at home and get someone else to go to the shops for you.

Garvin feels he may need more training on how to put on and take off his mask, What's the Problem? as he blows his nose in it after unscrunching it out of his pocket and then putting it on his face. He is perplexed as to why everybody keeps looking at him strangely, "I am Compliant!", he keeps on shouting at anyone that will stay around him long enough to listen. 

He decides to invest in a Full Head Clear Visor so his Neighbours can see more clearly that it is him and that they don't need to worry. His Allergies Act Up and he Sneezes and sprays the inside of the visor as he bangs the outside with his rolled-up cloth mask that he is now trying to use as a handkerchief. He decides it will be easier to just shop online.

The minimum requirement now to work is your "Insurance Certificate" and "A Mask". They now go hand in hand well as long as you don't cross contaminate them. Training is very important and of course Compliance, but in particular don't borrow Georges Camera if he puts it down, Don't Shop in Supermarket Aisle's if there's no wind, Don't Hitch Hike in Rural Towns in Ireland, the best you can expect is your bus fare thrown at you at speed from a passing car. Don't Sneeze or Cough in Rural Town or you could be hung, drawn and quartered albeit by locals being Compliant in Full Hazmat at a Social Distance.