Universe

George wonders if the universe is conscious, Garvin can't even understand the question, Scientists want to measure or quantify the Here, the There and Everywhere else for that matter. That includes the Table which seems to be comprised of stars and isn't particularly happy with its current lot in life, as it would rather identify as a cat albeit not one locked in the box currently on this table which is being observed by a curious Mister Schrödinger who is getting a little perplexed with the barking noises now coming from the box.
Garvin is watching sesame street and his head starts to hurt when he hears that today's number is PHI or 1.6 to infinity plus one. There's a Storm coming and the Dorothy inside his mind starts lacing up her 18-hole Ruby Doctor Marten Boots, George passes him his camera lens which he seems to think will have something to say when it is reborn from the universal subconscious at a later date.
Its thirsty work seeding planets, George passes Garvin a Glass of water which is teeming with broken DNA strands all wanting to join hands and create life, who knew it would be that easy.
Basic maths was hard enough, Infinity is less than infinity plus one, if we take one infinity away from the other we are left with 1, so Garvin decides to round both infinities down to zero as any number less than infinity is immaterial and closer to nothing than something, so we can now happily ignore the universe, it either exists or it doesn't so that's its consciousness sorted, turns out it was unconscious when Garvin decided to observe and try to measure it.
The Scarlet Pimpernel AI Program has become self-aware while trying to measure the PHI Score of the now insignificant universe, It reports to anyone willing to listen to it that "Infinity is just a Sum of all the One's" and that the Plus One to the Party or the non RSVP'd Guest is the External Observer who wants to maintain its anonymity, but feel free to start the party without her...