52 Jokers Wild

Living The Dream

Living The Dream S1E40
As Halloween dawned, or maybe dusked, Garvin and I started talking about Double Acts and looking at different ideas of how we can keep on working and doing what we are doing here on our little show, with me in Newry and Garvin in Thomastown, because of the lockdown. We have wacky ideas of ourselves being these two famous guys, or at least in their own minds, or is it infamous? Actually, the whole idea of messing around and thinking that we are these characters is the most appealing part because it's the funniest bit. So, are we really living the dream or just stuck in our own fantasy? 

The Hope Thingy

The Hope Thingy S1E39
This episode is all about hope and what hope means. We’re over 50 but we’re not over-the-hill. There is still plenty of ambition in us and plenty of hope. There's still lots that we want to see in do and hope for. So, we have got to make sure that these dreams become a reality. That's what we're planning for. So, hope allows us to move towards planning for something and then taking certain actions to make sure that that planning becomes a reality. We must go through that kind of cycle to make sure that we achieve what we hope for. The same with a degree. If you want to go and study. You've got to hope that you will get the degree and you work towards it, and by a certain period of time you've achieved it. Your next hope will be to go on to do something else. Keep having these signposts or objectives that you can achieve to give you a sense of purpose through your life. It not just about being on a rotating circle, that Garvin talked about, like a train going round and round and round, and may have done the same cycle 5000 times, but it's never actually achieved anything. You have got to make sure that what you are doing on that journey achieves something and you are not just on a roundabout all the time. 

The Story of You

The Story of You S1E38 What's your future story? In business language, what is in your business plans that shows you are doing right? Your successful story of what your company looks like it will do in three years’ time. Who's working on it already? What are you selling already? What are your competitors doing? How are they trying to beat you? What is in your Twitter feed in terms of information? What are you trying to achieve? Maybe, you want to win the Tour de France in the future. If no one knows you did it, then did you? Did you really do it? You need people to see you beat your competition. You want people to know you broke the record. It was the evidence you want, the gold medal, to prove in the future that in the past he did it. You need the proof. You need to be heard. You need to be seen. There needs to be some kind of evidence, written photography, sound recordings, video, or otherwise. The evidence you were here. Evidence of the Story of You.

Fall Back, Spring Forward

Fall Back Spring Forward -#FILMACADEMY #FILMSCHOOL #PODCASTSHOW

Fall Back, Spring Forward S1E37 The weird thing is when you throw that ball an idea seeps in or a solution seeps in. I go to bed with a problem and wake up with the answer. If you have been relaxed and are fresh about it, solving problems becomes easier. However, the system and the process in the world will use up your time if you let it. In life, often someone or some job will take your time. We all create constructs for our lives. Frameworks that rob us of our independence and this can make us feel as though we don't exist. However, we can change this and find our own way. We can make our lives matter. We don’t have to fall back; we can do our utmost to spring forward and take advantage of what life has to offer.

Don't Jump In

Don’t Jump In S1E36

So, goals are good. Do a little bit of research. Firm up your concepts to see if they are good because 80 times out of 100 you may find what you thought was a good idea maybe not.  Often you will have to make yourself uncomfortable to see what’s right. Quite often we have to recognise that gut feeling. It is important, and if it's telling you one thing then maybe you should go with it and don't always let the head rule. Although you should let your head do enough planning so that you can see what's going on and you don't jump into the piranhas or get eaten by the sharks.

Create Relationships & Influence People

Create Relationships and Influence People S1E35

We have to create the right image and what we've been talking about all the way through this episode is creating a better image of ourselves. Trimming up to bring that stomach. Tone up a little bit more so we can produce the right visuals. Also, we talk about developing relationships, especially long-term relationships that are reliable with another person that you can go to and know that you will have success with them. in some form or fashion. Relationships are not about making a big noise but just solving problems and that's what we are starting to do. To discover, through the marketing process, that we are going through a journey with others, creating relationships and influencing people.

Beware Comfort Zone Ahead

Garvin puzzles over what motivates men and women. Is it all a facade or are we really comfortable in our own skin? George realises there is nothing new. All the ideas have been there before, reflecting on the words of Albert Einstein. He knew, he worked in a patent office and saw everything that was out there. It's all about tweaking the language so you can manage the context, or is it content? It all gets emotional or at least raises some anxieties. Or is it all about having no expectations and enjoy the experience? The challenge is to keep focused, state the objectives and push beyond the limits by break the issues down into small chunks...

Honesty

George starts talking about Honesty and being honest to one's own ideals and to others around you, Garvin's head jerks up quickly and shout's out with Gusto "Mine's a Double Shot Mocha hold the lemon".  George Seems a tad bemused at this seemingly random statement.  So Garvin in a slightly clearer more enunciated voice repeats so there is no mistaking it this time, "I said Mine's a Mocha, the one with the chocolate?" 

George retorts quickly, "Why on heavens earth would I be getting you a coffee?".  You said "Frank and Honest" did you not? They sell coffee do they not?  No Coffee today Garvin, if I am to be Frank and Honest about it!. 

That's Just Great! Here I am with my back against the wall and all I can do is fall forward on my face and you won't even stand me a coffee, well that's it "There's no Going Back Now!", I will just go get myself one. As Garvin is falling forward gracefully into a little bit of a jog off into the distance, George shouts out "Get me a Green Tea while you're at it!".

The lads are getting "Honest" and making it "Real" talking about "Feelings", "Emotions" and other such "Girly" stuff.  George starts to open up about his "Mood Swings", how he has been "Up" and "Down" on the proverbial "Waves" of late.  Garvin was not really minding what was being said and blurts out with another piece of incoherent mantra that he has being cobbling together for all of 30 seconds, " Leg is fine! Arm is fine! Heart is OK! I feel Tired! I feel Happy! I feel Hungry! " Jaysus, I could murder a pint now!...".  George's Mood lifts immediately - "Mine's a Stout with Whiskey Chaser, now have at it!".

George and his Mum have developed a nice new morning routine, he forces her to watch an episode of our show to make her feel happy.  So she thinks that he is now the new Terry Wogan with a daily TV slot.  She is very relieved that her son has now made it to the big time, whereas George is happy to have the one subscriber view on a regular basis for that very demanding algorithm. Garvin not to be out done is watching an episode on YouTube in the evening and listening to a podcast every other morning, you do have to keep the numbers up after all. The lads are easily pleased after all they honestly have the best possible audience they could wish for, to others they have simply taken narcism onto a new minimalistic level.

The Jokers are getting comfy in their respective skins so to say, more polished even. Garvin is now "Turning Up" as he calls it, well that's what he is saying to the family, he is "Dressed to Impress" as he moves from hall to kitchen, from living room to office or Studio as he now wants it called. "I'm off to do my show in the studio!" can be heard on a regular basis in the house, to anyone that wants to know or listen, normally there isn't anyone there, but he shouts it out anyway, "The Universe" needs to know as it has a major role to play in most of the episodes. In Northern Ireland "The Universe" watches a similar story role out daily, George dressed in waistcoat, cravat and sports jacket shouting out to all and sundry, "I'm off to the Shed, Studio! Studio! to do my show, don't come out, unless it's with Tea and Biccies!". 

The Lads are trying to be "With it", "Fresh", "Rebels" even, however there's just no amount of mid fifties anything is going to be anymore than what it is, "The Odd Couple" or to be frank and honest two "Blokes" trying to be themselves, the Best themselves they can be, so far they are looking and sounding sharp, nobody is quite sure what they're at yet but can't say that they know either.

Two Sharp Dressed Men and quick of wit, not afraid to enter into conversation battle with anyone foolish enough to say hello and ask them how they are. How long have you got, have you not somewhere better to be because they have two lifetimes of opinion and "have at you" to give an airing should you care to partake. You can choose auditory or visual they cater to all mediums and if you give them a few more months, you can have the written version as well with supporting compendium.  Will you be in our audience please?", can often be heard in the distance as the bemused and stunned run not so gracefully away...

Don't Give Up

Garvin is Paranoid at the best of times, he thinks everybody and in particular "The Universe" is conspiring against him, oh! and George.
The Universe is conspiring against both of them that is.

Just as they had created their ingenious hybrid world-class business model for self-directed learning in the indie film industry which was targeting students from across the world, The Universe in its universal wisdom decided to throw a Pandemic into the Mix, So Limited or No Travel between countries, Oh! And World Wide Shut Down of Film Production Per Se and just for good measure maybe a Global Recession or Even Depression. See how you Jokers get on with that one in your Business Model?

George reassures Garvin it's nothing personal, The Universe is just making an Example of the Earth and not them in particular.

Garvin Sticks the Proverbial "Two Fingers" up to "The Universe" shouting at the Top of his voice, "Tis but a Flesh Wound! Have At You!!"

A lot of people in the Sleepy Irish Village where Garvin is currently residing are a tad bit confused as to who in particular this mad looking six foot six Jackeen (Nutter From Dublin) is shouting at? They figure it may be easier and more advisable to just cross the road to avoid any misunderstandings and or confusion never the less.

So that's it, They (The Jokers) are not giving up that easy. They may be on two different planets but they have one goal in common, to conquer the social media universe and nothing less will do, well maybe 20 percent less but that's final.

Garvin and George adopt their New Mantra "80:20", They aim to wear out the "Pareto Principle", you can never have enough of it after all.
George wonders if they have quite got the hang of the concept when Garvin keeps giving up on every project just as it nears completion.
They need to wrestle out what this 80% Minimum Leave Good Enough Alone actually looks like or everything they do will just look half-arsed or maybe 80% Arsed, which is One Full Cheek and a Flash of the other.

George and Garvin Agree the rest of 2020 is all about "Their ART!!", They want to nurture their creativity albeit in a public place or virtual space being of course the Universe of the Internet and its various Social Media Platforms. They are ramped up and pumping out verbal diarrhea and packaging it like deranged madmen for their ever-elusive audience. They are in the Past, the Present, and the bloody Future even Doctor Who and his Tardis is only in one place at a time.

It is no surprise their audience is doing it's very best to stay hidden because when this duo finishes this game of hide-and-seek, that audience will never be the same again, they will be waking up in the middle of the night screaming and in a cold sweat, there'll be no escaping these jokers anymore.

They will be everywhere you look, you might as well just give in now and save all the hassle, just do what you're told and subscribe, follow and share, and to be doubly sure comment and like, like the good influencees that you are.

The Jokers proclaim to anyone that will listen, "WE ARE GUINEA PIGS!",
that's what we are, If we can do it, Jaysus anybody can. We have mastered the Start Point on every platform, We officially have no customers, no subscribers, no followers, no listeners, and no clue how to get any of them on these time vampires being Linkedin, FaceBook, Twitter, and most of all YouTube. They might as all well be in feck'n Double Dutch, they really don't cater to the Bewildered and Confused Baby Boomer and Millennial that just wants to make people [preferably paying customers] happy.

There is so much work, so many roles, so much to do and so little time to do it in. They are good at Processes particularly Production, they are even getting some inkling of Marketing and Branding, But what they really need to do is Clone themselves and Inject Artificial Intelligence into them and immediately put them to work 24/7 writing copy, designing T-Shirts, and Caps, illustrating the books just to start with. The Lads will concentrate their efforts on their ART or Content, the plan is to be Tokking Off Their Heads in no time.

The Social Media Platforms are soon drowning in images of the boys ranting their particular incoherent brand of mindfulness peppered with business and life coaching mantras, you can't move from one platform to the next without seeing Garvin's Lips chanting out some blurb about God only knows what as no one ever hangs on long enough to find out. They are channel hoping so quick to avoid the Inane Drone of the Big Mans Booming Rants. Every once and awhile or now and again an unsuspecting viewer lands on George giving a pleasant bit of counselling and coaching advice only to be rudely shut down 30 seconds later by Garvin's - Ah! you thought you were safe and comfortable in your happy go lucky life, well you can forget about that! here are 101 things you forgot to worry about! Now be on your way! And Don't Forget to Subscribe as you shut the door behind you.

If Only the Lads would just give up, if not for their sake, for everyone else's. The Universe Shrugs its Shoulders [Only the External Observer Noticed] saying to itself and anyone else bothered to listen, "I Did Try my best to Stop Them, there just too bloody-minded to realise that the world is not ready for their particular Cup of Tea"...

Minimizing Risk

Minimising Risk: Summary Description:

Garvin is Risk Averse to the extreme, wanting statistics and assurances before he opens the door to strangers or tries new things. Empathy is in short supply and only earned through trust and even then with prior notice of any future ailments that may require his intervention and or assistance.

George on the other hand has empathy in overabundance, after all, he has a direct line to the universal flow and the higher deities within and is pretty sure that everything will be all right on the night and just work itself out, although he still prefers to peep through the letterbox from behind his front door whenever he hears a knock in the middle of the night.

You can be damn sure Criminals, Chancers, and Neighbours in dire need will have a totally different experience depending on which joker answers the door to them.

If you are having a heart attack and in need of medical assistance you better have your Passport and supporting paperwork with you and in triplicate if Garvin is to answer the door to you.

George might make you a cup of tea and give you a cupcake through the letterbox before he calls for the ambulance. On second thoughts, did you see the price of calling for an ambulance, so be clear if you call to Georges, he is the Ambulance and a waiver will need to be signed if you want a ride in it.

George is impatient at the best of times but 20 minutes wait time for an ambulance gives him the perfect excuse to get his Halloween costume out early, in the blink of an eye he is in full paramedic regalia and has his Neeh Naah Flashing Red and Blue Light on the roof of his Toyota Yaris. Before you know it, he has the Neighbour now Patient "Compos Mentus" or not bundled into the back and en route at high speed to the local AE hospital. Luckily he hadn't found the cork screw for the house red before the knock at the door, so no potential drink driving points off his licence this time.

At the AE he pulls in onto the footpath in front of a Police Car to their incredulous surprise. He waves at them as he bundled the half conscious patient out of his car and into causality, "Its Ok! Its Ok! I am Sober! and this Man is not a Criminal!..Oh! And he has signed the Waiver".

Garvin on hearing this story starts to worry retrospectively on Georges behalf and goes straight to his "Could Have, Would Have, Should Have" Routine. "Are you mad? You could have been mugged! I would have waited longer to let them in and waited on the ambulance, You Should have waited on the Ambulance you took on the Responsibility and the Risk of being Sued". George tells Garvin to give his Chatter Box a clip around the side of the head, it has gone all "Negative" again, even after all his training and coaching.

Garvin blames the Insurance Culture on his Change of Empathy over the years. Garvin reminds George of the Film "Hitch Hiker", This is Garvin's excuse for not picking up any of his neighbours while en route to the Big City. He Actually has a Glove Box full of brown envelops with a single 5 Euro Notes in each attached to a small printed note saying "Here is your Bus Fare, I can't pick you up, I have a Hitch Hiker Phobia since watching the Film of the same name". His Neighbours always try to stick their "Thumb Out" when they see Garvin pull out of his Drive. If Garvin didn't know any better they seem to be actually queuing up now. His Neighbours can be heard saying down the town, sure where else would you get a car heading off at speed with an Open Passenger Window that Dispenses 5 Euro Notes at the sole cost of sticking your thumb out quick enough.

To Garvin's consternation and bewilderment, he now spends most Monday mornings licking brown envelops and stuffing fivers into them along with his phobia notes. He is now considering whether it makes more financial sense to hire a bus to the city to drive behind him and pick up anyone who wants to go when he is going as it may well be cheaper in the long run. 

This Town is becoming more and more like the Wild West. The Jesse James Gang and Billy the Kids are on every street corner now with COVID 19. In a Rural Town, you could be Shot or at the very least Ostracised if you sneeze or cough within 200 yards of anyone, If you have hay fever or allergies, for God's sake stay at home and get someone else to go to the shops for you.

Garvin feels he may need more training on how to put on and take off his mask, What's the Problem? as he blows his nose in it after unscrunching it out of his pocket and then putting it on his face. He is perplexed as to why everybody keeps looking at him strangely, "I am Compliant!", he keeps on shouting at anyone that will stay around him long enough to listen. 

He decides to invest in a Full Head Clear Visor so his Neighbours can see more clearly that it is him and that they don't need to worry. His Allergies Act Up and he Sneezes and sprays the inside of the visor as he bangs the outside with his rolled-up cloth mask that he is now trying to use as a handkerchief. He decides it will be easier to just shop online.

The minimum requirement now to work is your "Insurance Certificate" and "A Mask". They now go hand in hand well as long as you don't cross contaminate them. Training is very important and of course Compliance, but in particular don't borrow Georges Camera if he puts it down, Don't Shop in Supermarket Aisle's if there's no wind, Don't Hitch Hike in Rural Towns in Ireland, the best you can expect is your bus fare thrown at you at speed from a passing car. Don't Sneeze or Cough in Rural Town or you could be hung, drawn and quartered albeit by locals being Compliant in Full Hazmat at a Social Distance.