52 Jokers Wild

Self-Direction

#030 - Self-Direction.

“You’re bipolar,” Garvin blurts out. “That’s logical from both directions.”

“That’s risky,” George replied. “Gather yourself together. Don’t get blocked.”

“It’s Summertime,” Garvin shouts. “Don’t panic with study. Enjoy it.”

George has spent his life directing others but are the signs now saying, “let them direct themselves.” Everyone is on a journey and only they can know the answer to the questions poses. The core of mentoring, coaching, and counselling is to allow self-exploration and self-discovery. George’s student wanted him to give the answers but instead, he replied, “That’s not important. What do you want?”

George asks Garvin, “How do you encourage others to seek the answer themselves?” Garvin refuses to answer because he was thinking of something else. He’d focused on George’s unwitting question, and the answer, in Garvin’s mind it was “42”.

The only trouble was that no-one knew the question. From Garvin’s perspective, this was an unfathomable universal problem. “Is it 6 times 7? 42 time 1? 6 by 9 in Based-13? Is it the number to a house?”

Should we target the answer and work backward? Cars, models, and fancy clothes are Garvin’s aspirations, but how the hell does he get there? Can this be achieved in one lifetime? “What was the question again?”

“You’ve to do a bunch of stuff?” Garvin smiles. “If you want that, stop what you’re doing now. Cuz it ain’t working.” Visualise where you want to be and take the steps necessary to get there and don’t trip. Mind the Gap. “What will lead to the answers I now want,” Garvin quizzes. “And what questions should you ask yourself that will lead me there? It’s critical path analysis with limited time on Earth.”

George asks a question then gets confused when Garvin persists in getting clarification on every aspect until George’s head spins off again. “It’s only when a specific question is asked that I can find a solution,” says George, then reverts to techno-babble to try and gather his thoughts. Garvin answers, “I’ve combed my teeth and brush my head.” George is gobsmacked. “What do we do now?”

If you want to know, then ask yourself the right questions so your answers can be met. Self-direct.

The Construct

#029 The Construct - Life Self Business Coaching for the Over Forties.

Padawan Garvin frantically attempts to shed the Dark Side, but this time it’s in the form of spherical projectiles being given the boot. He just won’t have it. Darth George has gone too far, though Padawan Garvin may give in if stars and planets are involved.

It’s all about the future, when these two geezers try to work out the path ahead. Now their heading towards the Matrix, another construct of their imagination. While mini-Darth George tried to spew out films, a horror-story erupts as dark forces from ‘Stranger Things’, chain him to the production line of the Bozeat Boot Company. His rebellious nature channelled far off opportunities, spinning his technical head. Where’s the Exorcist?

Padawan Garvin reminisces a single channel with Ireland’s RTE1 on the ‘telly’. Life was simpler then. Even Darth George only had BBC1, BBC2, and ITV. No-one thought beyond the weekend. All that mattered was money for the ‘tinnies’, the bus-fares and entrance fee to the nightclubs to chase the women. Back then who wanted responsibilities? No foresight, no desire to grow up, no clue.

Darth George sniggers away as he brings up the feudal system, triggering another rant for Padawan Garvin as he attempts to bring the conversation back into the 21st century. Darth George continues to get dizzy in constant moves and never knows where he is. Never belonging but overflowing with creative ideas from all these experiences. But the leather object revs up more rants from Garvin, as he reflects pub talks his dad had with mates that were more alien than Man United being whisked away in a UFO.

Garvin refuses the concept of a construct where 24 humans kick up dirt with a planetoid object. Now, if it was ancient aliens? Naw, even then it’d be too far-fetched. To him its just blah, blah, blah. So, don’t bother talking about… George admits he hated the subject-that-shall-not-be-mentioned. Even the Moon got confused with the other spherical object.

It’s all a Construct. Systems to hold you in place. To distract your mind so you don’t have to think. Bells ringing in your ears. George talks about constructing a model Moon for his old company logo out of polystyrene. Garvin says his German Shepherd dog chews on something similar and suggests George use it for the next sci-fi adventure, cuz it looks like Mars.

#SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

May The Force Be With You!

May the Force Be With You!

Padawan Garvin and Darth George are meddling with the Dark Side of Linkedin Algorithms and YouTube Analytics. Their Energy Levels are not what they used to be.

May the Feckn Force Such that it is with you! "Darth George". And With You My Padawan - Garvin! But Can you please Stop Interrupting me every five minutes with your inane and insufferable questions. For the last time, I don't know where you can order some extra "Metaclorians"! Have you checked Amazon Multiverse Edition?

We need to Top Up our Energy levels, if we are to keep up with all this work we keep creating for that elusive audience, they seem to be rebelling against our current efforts to Influence them. We need to create a large enough Disturbance in their Mojos to bring them over to the 52 Joker Wild Side of Life.

You are right as ever My Joker Darth we need to replenish our energy reserves if we are to succeed in our mission. I will venture out to the Outer Limits of the LockDown System and stock up on the Energy of the Red Bull Nebula. 

So, Will, I Get you anything else while I am off out at the Shops and while I think of it before I go, Can I Borrow Your Darth Mask as mine is in the Dishwasher?

You are growing in expertise my Padawan, soon you will Embrace the Power of Multi-Tasking, until then you will need to keep forcing the square pegs into the round holes with the big mallet, it is only when you reach true enlightenment that the power of the "Pareto Principle" can be fully unleashed. 

In the meantime, You are to hold yourself accountable to the higher purpose and be sure to Act within Normalised standards. Don't Disturb anyone else unnecessarily, we have enough interruptions as it is, at this rate, we will never get anything done to move the master plan forward.

We will need to bring stability to the Disruptions in the Force, if our Base Audience is to grow and we are to Innovate to a higher level of existence, stretching our influence in the Social Media Universal Flow. 

We are taking on Insurmountable Odds to break through the Barrier of Non Reaction currently preventing the successful and sustained engagement with fellow journeyers in the Processes of Life and the higher Pursuit of Role Meaning.

Darth George?    Yes! Padawan Garvin?

When will I be a True Jedi Joker?

You have always been one, You just have to see it in the Mirror Smiling Back and You will Recognise the True Power of the Force of You...

Perfection

The Jokers aren't Perfect, they nearly make a point of it! Well, that's their excuse for doing stuff half-arsed off the cuff and looking happy with themselves as they put another show in the proverbial can. That's a Wrap! Sure the Audience won't notice the imperfections, sure there isn't one, An Audience that is, Sure what do they know anyway?

Garvin asks George is he any good at Math, For the last 20 years Two and Two never seemed to add up to, well whatever it's meant to. Garvin has been using Magic Math in his Accounting Career to date, many of his previous conversations usually went along the lines of.."Well, what do you want the numbers to say? I know you don't like what they are saying, but the facts are the facts!, Ok then... What Golden Numbers do you prefer, after all half them are already missing anyway!

The Lads decide that Imperfection is the new Perfection, George is now happy with being an "Imperfectionist", it is after all more attractive to the mass audience.

They are going to apply the Pareto Principle to their new approach, The 80 / 20 Rule is now just 80 / 0 , the last 20 is just too near the perfection of 100 percent, so 80 is the new 100 and that's just perfect now.

The Jokers are no longer building with the end in mind, they don't need to have all the answers, any answer will do until some else is asking questions of them and more to the point paying for it. Money is Time or was it Time is Money, Doesn't really matter they have very little of both, so they are going to clone themselves as soon as they can and put them to work printing some currency they can then go blow designing flaws in their work for the future audience to point back out to them at their leisure by whatever social media channel they so choose. They need to have some fall guys to point at when the proverbial shit hits the fan anyway. They agree to leave Good Enough Alone, Who is this "Good Enough" person anyway? Well, he is the person responsible for everything going forward now, he is no perfectionist, he is more of an 80 percenter. He does seem to be a dab hand at managing unrealistic expectations I hear, Jaysus!! Garvin Exclaims with a very anxious look, And Who the Feck is this "Unrealistic Expectations" Fecker now? If it keeps going on like this, we will need a bloody "Project Manager" to keep those two in check if we are to get anything of value done. I hope to God this bunch are all working Pro Bono because I'm working for Fresh air and I'm not sure if I am charging enough of that!

The Jokers revisit the Bear in the Woods Concept, in that, if he drank a beer and you didn't hear him open the can, Was the Beer a Carlsberg? Well, something along those lines.

The new version now being, if the audience being the audience of one, sees our video or listens to our podcast and they don't have an opinion, then it is still new and brilliant until, well doomsday and hell freezes over or we find a customer that actually watches and listens to it, whichever happens first, we're good with it, either way, We are Brilliant until a billion people tell us otherwise.

The Jokers have realised their USP or Unique Selling Point are their Imperfections of which they have many, they are practically overflowing in abundance of them, too many even to name, go figure that this is the Value, they can pretty much corner the market in, these unknown qualities and quantities of which they are the Gurus in, all they have to do now is Simply ..Capture the Ghost in the Machine, Strap him down and Brand the Be Jaysus out of him and Sell from now to Doomsday and Beyond, Childs Play if they don't say so themselves. The Perfect Plan, Now what was the Budget Again? Garvin have you set those SMART ARSE Goals you were talking about? Garvin? Garvin???

Happy Accidents

George and Garvin were having a few come to Jesus moments, they don't think their suffering from Imposters Syndrome anymore, they agree to no longer use the phrase "Fake it until you make it" as their go-to Mantra, they agree to the new one "Spoof it until you hoof it!", as it seems more mainstream and acceptable in social media space.

The Lads are tinkering with the idea of starting an On-Line Shop for TFPA and 52 Joker Wild Merchandise as a potential revenue stream to help focus the Branding Exercise, George agrees to design the T-Shirt if Garvin can come up with the Go To Catch Phrases.

George Rolls his eyes to heaven when he hears Garvin chanting in the background, "Everyone and their Mother" now is starting to do a Podcast!, George! I have one "Everyone and Their Mother is Podcasting!", what do you think? George replies with a grin, "That's No Accident!", Well if it is, it is A "Happy Accident!".

Garvin seems to be spitting at the mirror, on closer observation he is trying to enunciate the word "SSSpeccific" or is it "Specific", either way, he will have to Develop Muscle Control of his Lips if is to "Suuucceeed".

Garvin points out that he feeling a little "Rejected" that "The Non-Audience" hasn't "Reciprocated!", George replies, "That's Ok! It's Not for them anyway, so we must be doing something right!. We just need to move proverbial rooms and get in front of our audience", Garvin Pipes Up with a new wind and sense of purpose.."Now which room was that again?".

This Baby! Let's Dress it Up and it will "Get Legs!" soon enough it will be running Marathons or is it "Snickers?".

George is reminiscing of bygone days, back in Feudal Times when PC's crashed on a regular basis during large Edits. He didn't sweat the Drama, he enjoyed these "Happy Accidents" as they gave him the opportunity to "Build with the Answer in Mind", He also got paid twice for the same job which he didn't mind either.

George, We need to write our "Obituaries" if we are to really "Build with the End in Mind", otherwise we might end up living the wrong lives. Oh! and it will help with drafting up our 5-year plan and setting some Smart Goals.

The Jokers agree that they haven't been rejected, they just haven't met their Audience yet, they will apply the Mister Miyagi Principle to their work ethic going forward...Rinse! Repeat! Rinse! Repeat! and Add More Suds from time to time.

The Joker To-Do List is starting to have a lot of Tasks with Ticks beside them...

1. Write Obituary.   Done
2. Don't Wake Up Dead.   Done
3. Eyes Wide Open.   Done
4. Have More Happy Accidents.  Work in Progress...

Problems

And you think you have problems, this 'pair' have to look the word up in a dictionary, well they would if they had one, Garvin Google's it, to check if they have any, 'problems' that is! Garvin Likens himself to Captain Kirk and his everyday fictional problems, apart from the fact he has no ship, no crew and no clue, these are just small stumbling blocks he is willing to overlook on his journey to conquer, sorry explore his universe. Aliens Beware! Garvin is now truly out of space dock and looking under rocks for "Some Thing", Treasure perhaps, or just a hint of a clue as to what he should be doing next. George picks up a Strange Looking Rock with the initials "S E P" written in Big Bold Letters on it, he looks bemused and ponders to himself what they might stand for? He hears a Big Shout Out from Garvin, Quick! Put that Feckn back where you found it, That's "Someone Else's Problem"! Suddenly two eyes open on the once seeming lifeless rock and it smiles up at George, He Hears Garvin Under his Breadth muttering, "Well Now you have gone and done it! Now its Your Problem". Now, what are we going to do? Says George with a confused look on his face. We? What's this We? "Now Your Problem Starts Here", Garvin Says while jogging off in the direction of the Sunset, Let me know How you Get on? are the last words George can hear clearly as Garvin Cant be seen for the Dust Cloud he has left behind... George Looks around, he can't see anyone anywhere, he looks down into his hands at The Problem at hand so to say, He Reads the Letters again on the Rock "SEP", He shrugs his shoulders and puts it back where he found it, the little eyes and smile on it disappear instantly, everything is as it was, except for the fact Garvin can't be found for "Love Nor Money?", Well, he could be found for both but it seems they weren't on offer, "Once Bitten Twice Shy!" came to Georges Mind as he walked off in the Sunset following Garvin's Foot Steps to the Horizon... #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

The Field of Dreams is Under Construction

The Jokers have reached A New Milestone, Sure How Far is that, it turns out it is 24 Episodes Long or 2 kilometres or 5 metric tonnes depending on the day of the week and who is talking to who about what!. Garvin doesn't like format and structure, he just wants to say whatever comes to mind, whether or not it has value that's a whole different ask. The Lads are questioning if it is worth the hassle, Garvin's own Daughter says its shite and she's off. We are looking forward to the Naysayer Audience as they are quite vocal in their dislikes and comments, which the social media algorithms really like to spread your content far and wide. George points out that they dont need to worry about the audience, if we build it, they will come to our Field of Dreams. The Fog is starting to Lift, hopefully the Zombies aren't in there. They are looking for a Pub to have a conversation, they will need some extra seats for the friends they haven't met yet, while they wait for the guest listeners they mull over Garvin Reading List, 5 Books in his life to date, well his new joker persona life to date that is. The Lads are past the point of no return, the magic number 7 is well in the rear view mirror, they are 24 in and laying the foundations in the Field of Dreams, Build the Can and they can Kick it, the proverbial "They" being the elusive listener, they will seek him her or they wherever they may be and force them to listen if they have to. The Joker are happy to be their own audience, they just need to clone themselves a few million times, that seems to be an easier ask than actually finding a real audience. Following the Process is No Guarantee of Results, they are ABC'ing and 123'ing Influencers advice left right and center, but they seem to be operating in a vacuum or a parallel universe of some sort as 6 billion People have decided to totally ignore all of their frantic efforts. You need to be unique and believe in yourselves, They both look in the mirror chanting the mantra, I AM What I am, I Am unique and So am I says George.. They are now both shouting at the mirror "Just Get On With it, Apocalypse or No!! #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

Don't Panic! It's Not The Apocalypse! Or is it?

Garvin's memory is not the best, he Can't Remember what he had for breakfast at the best of times, so the last 30 years are a blur he wouldn't recognise if he was watching it in the cinema. He decided to do some research for the show, he was frightened how real it turned, it is not War of the Worlds, just a UFO Flyby, George says they were looking for someone to experiment on, Garvin says he is up for it, they can probe away all they like it will be a welcome change from the norm. The Jokers compare the old to the new releases, Tom Cruise or Boston Scientific , basically are they low or large budget aliens, can Garvin Kick the Robots Ass or it is Smoothie Time for Aliens? The Lads consider whether or not they should heed the warning signs and stock up on toilet paper and start building their bunkers for the apocalypse. If you are going to be Shitting yourself you need the 300 Rolls of Andrex Triple Ply Embossed which is now top of their Global Catastrophe Go To Shopping List. Garvin is looking forward to the Alien Encounter, George is in the Twilight Zone or was it his Twilight Years? Are they Here or Are they on the way, are we food, fuel or labour? Will they be environmentally friendly? Are they back for the recurring Seeding Event every 10000 years or so, now past due? Don't worry about the Meteor, Worry about the Sun Flare that is way past due, it will be sure to throw us back to the dark ages with no electricity if it doesn't set off the Nuclear Winter first, Either Way you can forget about your 5G, you will have Feck all use for your mobile phone and computers then other than to throw them at the vermin. Society will have broken down in weeks when we cant update our Instagram and Tik Toks. George tells Garvin to stop watching TV, he is panicking himself setting his chatterbox into overdrive. His Frame of reference is in the billions of years as opposed to the next few days. The Jokers decide to work backward from most likely global catastrophe so they can determine what it is they should be worried about in what order. Garvin's money is now on the Triptych Apocalypse Wipe-out of AI Alien Tech with a Biological Element, could be a Quadruple if the Alien Arrives on a Meteor, Cupid if it happens during a Solar Event. They nearly forgot about the Volcanoes Yogi Bears Jelly Stone Caldera Surprise and how could we forget the Zombies? They guys extrapolate further their thesis that they are the ultimate Sims or rather AI Bots in an Alien Cosmic Game. They have to be the Bots because who seriously would be playing their Avatars considering how mundane their existence has been to date in the Game of Life so to say! Garvin now has so much more to worry about, his career and what he plans to do with pales into insignificance. George and his wife want to move to Ground Zero, Garvin would rather be in Control or be the King of the New Castle in a Mad Max after Thunder Dome post apocalyptic Ireland. #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

What The F@~K ! What the Heck! What the Hell!

We are all Talking Heads.... What the Feck? ..What the Heck? George thinks Garvin is a Garden, probably an unkempt one. He thinks he is a clueless talking head, he doesn't know what the Hell is going on, he would rather it be that heaven is going on, ie all the Good Things and none of the bad but that's probably too much to expect. They are both looking in the mirror now shouting at it, What the Heck are you doing with your life, this is it, its your fault, wake up, Get on with it. The 18 year old are looking out from the mirrors in disbelief of what the old jokers have done with their body. The inner child wants back out and into the driving seat of the now run down body to re energise it to go disco dancing again without breaking a hip or indeed a sweat. The Proverbial Red Lamborghini is parked in the drive or more precisely wrapped around the bins. Its hard to change, its Hard to Ruffle your own feathers, but you have to if ya want to be a peacock again or for the first time even. Garvin's inner child says stuff your milk and pass me the red bull and car keys its time to take some chances before there isn't anytime left, move over and let me in the driving seat, you have had your turn and made a mess of it, we aren't where we are meant to be and that's the Royal We. The Chitter Chatter Box is still muttering away in the room in your mind, However there's a new sign on the door "Keep Out Reasons the Why Not!". There's now a Bouncer on the Door, if you are not positive "Feck Off". The Two Jokers are pushing their inner children forward with affirmations left right and center, telling them both with Gusto - "Keep Going!" ,"Keep Doing!", "Don't Look Back!", "For God's Sake Don't Look Down, Don't Think, Just Do it!", "It will all be alright on the night lads Just Turn Up and keep smiling, keep moving and most of all Remember to Breathe! George looks around to Garvin who seems to be shouting tirades at the mirror now, something along the lines of "What the Hell do I care if you want a Cream Bun, Just go get one!", he then swiftly turns around and heads for the shops with a confident and purposeful stride and smile on his face, George shouts out "Hang On a Second while I grab my Coat I fancy one too!!". The Lads seem to have their own theme tunes, Like a Bat Out of a Hell! These two nutters are Out of Here...To Do whatever needs doing..in the meantime they are going to grab a couple of donuts at crusty cremes. Talking Heads is Garvin's Theme Tune..Not so much Psycho Killer, he is on the Road to No Where or more to point Some Where, he doesn't care where but he wants to get a gang together be it Hells Angels or a Bunch of Jokers with or without Harley's. George wants to meet new people, There's an App for that according to Garvin, Just Swipe Left or Right...George ponders whether it is appropriate to download or not. Don't ask anyone in Garvin House if they would like some vegetables or fancy a trip to the shops, you have to just state the affirmative "Here You Are!" or "Come on We are off!" otherwise there will be a lot of Hmmms and No Not for me or wooohoooo's!! Choice is not always a Good Thing for the indecisive pessimists among us. #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

Balance - Get More of it into your Life Now!

Garvin is falling off the weighing scales, he has lost his balance, he decides to go back to bad as there's 26 years of sleep he can access, he might need a new mattress but he can't balance his cheque book so that's not on the cards at the minute, maybe if he starts juggling balls he might earn a few quid to pay for the new bed. George says he doesn't need sleep anymore as he enjoys his work so much, so he is going to keep burning the midnight oil until the early hours to make up for the times he wasn't so happy with his work. George can't see Garvin but he can hear him giving out about "Too Many Balls so Little Time", he looks up only to see Garvin juggling what seems to be Cannon Balls while traversing a Ravine on a Tight Rope, Garvin Spots George and screams at him to stop gawking at him and for god sake tighten the rope and if he can get his arse in gear go find him a net, He drops one of the Balls , it lands precariously beside George, written on its side in Large Red Letters is "PATIENCE", Garvin doesn't seem to have any more and screams at him to get a move on. Step Back Say No Let that bit wait, Lets do what we can do not what we cant, Garvin puts all the balls down, he starts shouting at anyone and everyone that he is not a Juggler, he is a Joker!! Garvin seems to be picking up hot potatoes now, George mutters to himself - "Here we go again", only to quickly duck as half a dozen steaming potatoes go flying by his head, Garvin shouts out, "Its OK they're not mine!.... George is competent and Conscious of it, Garvin is consciously incompetent and unashamedly proud of it or maybe he is unconsciously ashamed, anyway he is going to poll his subscribers to see what they think, luckily enough he is most of them the results should skew favorably to his mood on the day. The Jokers have decided to enter the race, they meant the human race but ended up in the rat race by mistake, they are still running scared. George is recounting the story of the tortoise and the Hare, Garvin remembers fondly the days before comb overs and resigning to the present sad state of his evident Baldness. He over exerted himself running he exclaims as He Limps off to the Gym to dance to the tunes of the seventies on the Wii, his daughter calls it exercise he calls it nostalgia. George realises trying to relive the past is not as good as everyone thinks it is, nostalgia is grand but time belongs where it is in the past for the then you, the present you has enough going on to be without day dreaming about bygone times and how great they seemed. Garvin tells his daughter college is not all its cracked up to be as she will be bringing her bills and household chores drudgery with her as a parting gift. George dreams of riding his old Cowasaki, Garvin mentions that the milk quota for the day is going to be out of balance as they got hit by lightning so enjoy the now and enjoy the cow. The Lads chat about Birth Days and Death Days and all the life in between, agreeing that it is important to remember to play badminton, plant potatoes and play with kittens, this will help align your chakras whatever they are. They seem to be walking taller or maybe its just more balanced, they are talking about Ripples and how those around them seem to be more aligned to their way of thinking all of a sudden, maybe they are onto something... #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching