52 Jokers Wild

Happiness - The State of Mind and Places in Time

How do we define happiness? Is it a state of mind or a place in time? Is it Heaven? Heaven is a place on Earth. Turns out its the Local Pub by the sounds of it. Your Local Bar Man may not be Ted Danson, but as long as he is plying you with drinks you should be happy. Are we happy, Garvin wants to be in a continual state of happiness, George needs to define what makes him happy, being in the moment the now..he likes to ride the wave of emotion, he is happy when he is up and sad when he is down. George wants to set fire to things, he calls it spreading the joy, the insurance companies and fire services won't see it that way, but as long as George is happy burning things thats ok. Will Garvin explode with happiness before he is content, George wants Garvin to share so they can both be happyish. Garvin thinks if everybody is happy society will fall apart and he will be the next in the firing line just like in star trek, his place is to be the unknown crew member with a predestined short appearance. George points out to Garvin if he Listens he might Hear Something and Learn Something. Perception of Greener Fields is in a lot of cases an illusion, Be happy in your skin as someone elses might be a lot more uncomfortable than it looks at first glance. George says Material things aren't as Real as some immaterial things such as Relationships. Garvin's Daughter found his childhood things or Treasure, now the family are armed to the teeth so intruders beware if you go calling to the Burke House Hold. Happiness is not a Cake to Slice up and Share, it is not that easy to solve others problems, but slice up some of your time to lend a listening ear. Garvin loves to try to solve other people's problems without the facts, it makes for easier thinking on his part. Complexity is not that simple so he tries to steer clear of that, after all its not his problem and if he starts helping out it might just end up being his, better to wallow in his own happiness and problems that might bring or he may already have and be blissfully unaware of, ah ignorance is true bliss. You have to Protect yourself from Other Peoples Problems, however wouldn't it be great to go Kick Ass for a time, be a Knight in shining Armour and rescue family and friends out of the mire of their personal problems and unwanted unhappiness. Garvin wants them to get their dancing shoes on and join him on his personal crusade along the yellow brick road to their joint Oz's. Out of Sight out of mind and you don't have to buy them a pint, until they turn back up again 10 years later, the three dancing divas of 1985 are now all married with children but still looking for the Disco of Happiness. The Lads see tragedy as a gentle reminder of their mortality, so they need to be making hay while the sun shines or more to the point while they are still breathing as it is only a matter of time before the game is up, they are throwing dice like there is no tomorrow and one day they will be right. If Garvin is Happy everyone else must be, His Life and Wife is sitting in the other room watching Netflix, he needs to make sure everyone else is happy also. The Lads would love to more time, they have been borrowing it, moving it around, using it up but there just doesn't seem to be enough of it, they think wouldn't it be great to make it, who knew it was the one product they can't seem to find the raw materials for on the open market. They decide to call it a day, we see them walking off into the distance singing a little ditty "Don't Worry Be Happy". #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

Monsters? - Task Lists Can be Scary Too!

Gargantuan Gargoyle Garvin, aka Garvin Electric.... aka Herman Monster, a Big Looming Gothic Character. The Boys wonder if Frankenstein's Monster came with a Guarantee for Parts and Labour, it just would not be tolerated these days, an ISO 9000 Standard and a Money Back Guarantee to booth is now the minimum standard requirement to raise any eyebrows let alone the Dead. George has Rats with Wings in his log cabin he calls them Pigeons, he isn't fooling anybody as we all know Rats with Wings are Bats so says Garvin. Ssshh!! If you stay quiet enough you can hear the House breathe, Was that a Fart? and if you wait long enough it might even talk, best to turn up the radio volume or nobody will be getting any sleep again without an Exorcism being performed nightly. It is in the Irish DNA, the Barbarian has resurfaced, it is 6 Foot 6 Garvin and Family. Who Knew that "The Giant Within" that he is trying to Awaken was a Leprechaun with attitude, George believes in Dragons, Monsters, Demons even, The Villains of any story. Garvin doesn't want to talk History or World Politics that's way too scary for him, he would rather stick to spiders and the Villain Within that's stoking the Fire beneath his Inner Fear to Try new things. The Demon within is the Set of Monster Tasks that can get very frightening all of a sudden, in particular, that social media realm that's full of all sorts of monsters and mayhem at the best of times, Trolls and Geeks n Freaks waiting for the feeding frenzy that is new unsuspecting social media virgins such as the jokers. George is chucking out random monsters now, witches and warlocks, what about Bell Book and Knoll, Garvin takes the Bate and compares white witches to his wife's kinesiology sessions. Reiki, Chakras et al, the lads are comparing their Aura's now, George is trying to tune into the right Frequency, he seems to be using his quartz watch for more than telling the time, What hope has Garvin got as he doesn't have a watch as the Time is always now and that is good enough for him, he will hot wire his frequency later when he has the time, which will also be Now Then. Garvin is scared of Horror Movies and anything else that goes bump in the night, he has a very active imagination but that is not helped with George pointing out that you don't have to imagine when what is in front of you is Real Engine PS5, We are now desensitised that decapitations are par for the course in modern gameplay. Garvin wants to be able to give out to his son about playing too many online games, but the fecker got 10 straight A's in his Exams, so he is not even able to Give out to Him and use it as a threat in the future for Study Purposes, he hasn't tested his empathy quota lately and so doesn't know if he is as Squeamish as his dad when choosing movies to watch. Garvin suddenly gets a come to Jesus moment and realises he is jealous that he can't play or Can he? Just need to buy another Remote! Garvin doesn't want to go out at the best of times, he is afraid of being cloned, stalked, hacked, robbed and that's before he leaves the house. What other madness could befall him if he went down the road to the shops? Skynet has made a Sim out of Garvin, Who knew he was so predictable considering he keeps stressing he is not a number, turns out he is a constant stream of ones and zeros that seem to have a personality with a better dating history than him. Garvin is Burning his money, he says its all about Barter, you can stuff your bitcoin, what use is that going to be when the Electric is cut off, its back to the Stone Age for the Jokers, they want to Kill all Monsters Real and Imaginary. The Lads agree that all Monsters need a name so they can kill it, there's a bunch of freaky looking characters in the bushes nearby looking worried, they all agree to stay in the shadows and remain nameless, its safer for all concerned... #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

Enjoy the Weird and Wonderful Better Known as Life

It's weird every day for the Jokers, they don't know what normal is anymore and that's what they like. George looks out the window only to observe Birds playing poker and drinking whiskey, they look up and throw him a courteous Tweet! Tweet!. Garvin Does the Chloe Ting work out for the Tenth time that month and pulls his belt in another notch, he is looking good if he doesn't say so himself. He is holding a Tick List as long his arm of "Things to do" and wonders most what the weirdest one could be..Somewhere in the background George is tinkling the ivories to the tune of the 1967 Dusty Springfield Casino Royal James Bond theme tune, only to be reminded that 1967 was the year that was most important for another reason being the Birth of the Joker #1. Garvin is listening to himself on the podcast again, this time wrapped in a blanket being mindful he calls it..His wife takes one look mumbling "Weirdo" under her breadth among other more profane mutterings. Exercising Daily and Eating Healthy, These are Strange Times indeed for Garvin...Its Time to take care of Business, Queue Here in an Orderly Fashion, Family, Friends and the Rest. George is Open to all possibilities, His Two Favourite Teams are playing again, Certainty versus Uncertainty today's score is 0 to 1. He likes to be Fashionably Late to ensure being on time as most of the time everybody he knows usually turns up late, Garvin says they should just agree the later time and life would be much simpler. Garvin asks George what are you possibly writing about in the "Morning Pages" as you seem to be producing Volumes willy nilly. Garvin points out that he is writing directly to the Universe and strange as it sounds it is answering back. Projects previously put on the long finder are bubbling back up into the List of Things to do soon as reprioritised by the Universe. Water Water Everywhere and not a drop to drink, Follow the "Signs" George Says. Garvin is looking at himself on camera and fondly remembering the good old bad hair days of Mohican straightening and smudged Eyeliner..Ah they were the days! They agree to disagree that chats should be like Lip Sync Battles, Conversations being Battles of Will, Garvin has no idea what George is saying anyway until he listens to the podcasts weeks later. They both agree the Cat is way Out of the Box now, as they see it heading off at speed in the distance, it Meowing something along the lines of I better do something productive with my time, I only have Feckn 8 lives left now. #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching

Being Courageous - The Other Side of Fear

Afraid of the Dark? Just venturing outside can be a daunting task at times for some people. Don't Hold your breath anytime soon, if you expect to find a Joker out after dark near a graveyard looking for directions, as you will be waiting a long time, a "Month of Sundays" and when "Hell Freezes Over" spring quickly to mind. Don't mistake Courage for plain stupidity and not knowing any better, they are not the bravest of individuals.
The Jokers highlight the fact that they probably would never start most things for fear of stage fright, it's only by being put on the spot of having no choice, gives them the push to just get on with it, sure what's the worst that could happen, "Don't Get me Started on that one!!!".
The jokers have taken control of the proverbial steering wheel and are now driving menacingly through their fears, Social Media Pedestrians are like dumbstruck bunnies in their headlights and are now a little fearful and frazzled by what might be hurtling down the line at them as a result of this newfound bravery on the jokers part.
They are normally their own worst critics, Garvin likes to shoot the Horse he rode in on, so there's no going back, George prefers to have a spare on hand just in case they need to make a quick getaway.
Garvin is particularly afraid of the Unknown Unknowns, potential taunts from people he has never met about something he has yet to do, the cowardly lion has nothing on this joker.
The lads have decided it is better to do something, anything is better than nothing. They don't feel brave or courageous, maybe just a little less fearful than they usually are as they realise they are the experts on being themselves, so how can they fail they already have that one in the Bag. They are setting their expectations low and realistic, so if they just get out of bed and turn up they are halfway there.
The last time Garvin did that he met his future wife and continuously reminds her twenty years on that he is still on the rebound. He would be a Force to reckon with if he actually knew what he was doing. George says he is off to his favourite "Captured", sorry "Captive" Audience to play his fiddle while Rome burns...

Dumb and Dumber - The Jokers Wild

The Jokers feel like crash test dummies hitting their heads off dead-end walls in their respective journeys to date, sometimes without a seatbelt. They don't mind being the dumbest person in the room, not hard for Garvin as he is a natural at it, he just doesn't know that he owns that title hands down, someone needs to tell him but it is extremely difficult to shut him up long enough for it to register. For someone with no opinion, he seems to have a lot to say admittedly not about the subject at hand. The lads are wondering what they could possibly have to offer a podcast audience, why should they even bother trying, they are literally clueless, "dumb and dumber" even, they argue over who is which. They realise they are the experts on being themselves, they have that market cornered, they just need to find half a million doppelgangers' who will get it. The lads decide to go on a speed date with the social media communities, they are buffering like lunatics until they get their mojo in gear, there are "interestingly"s and "actually"s flying off the cuffs every five minutes until they arrive at their train of thought which is still on a single circular piece of track, it's time to pimp up their ride and go off-road in a monster truck, they are going all-in even if they have no chips to play with. Garvin is trying to dumb himself down so he can listen more and people can understand him better, he has to get back from four dimensions to two so people on this planet can half fathom what it is he seems very passionate about, turns out there's a lot of a hullaballoo about crows and bats and lycra suits being important if you want to make stupid millions. For some reason George keeps shouting at him to Just Play Dumb, so does that mean George is Dumber, we will just never know...

Triggers - What Sets You Off on One?

It doesn't take much to set Garvin Off on One as he says himself, he may only have one life but just like Trigger from Only Fools and Horses, he has had a lot of different heads on his proverbial shoulders. Both Jokers are reading up on Karl Jung even though Garvin doesn't realise it as he is doing it by Osmosis, turns out he favours all 3 triggers mentioned by George, Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic, basically anything he sees, hears or feels will lead to a knee jerk reaction or good old rant-n-rave. George introduces a Lobster into the mix, Garvin starts humming a tune by the B52s from the mid 80's while looking through his piggy bank to see if he can swap the yellow pack cornflakes for something Red and Menacing with beady eyes and a particular dislike for Determinism theory while resident in a restaurant fish tank. Posh Spice has nothing on Posh George when it comes to Pub Quiz's, he literally hears voices that feed him the correct answers, to anyone else that would be worrying but it is par for the course for a joker on a night out with the Universe as your tablemate. The Jokers compare student jobs, George was a Beater for the Lords and Ladies, Garvin a run-of-the-mill lounge boy, who would know feudal times would be so cool. They rationalise the need for an AK47 and T34 Tank to be better prepared against any pheasants lurking in the unbeaten bushes of social media land, suffice to say they need more bullets (podcasts) if they are to hit home with their seemingly aimless marketing goals, they have their head in the Game, it's time to Level Up, they are swapping the proverbial pea shooter for a Gatling Gun (Lobsters, Pheasants et al beware)...

Be Open to the Fundamental Interconnectedness of all Things!

The lads starting being Frank with each other, this gets confusing very quickly, so Garvin opts to be Ted from Bill and Ted. Quantum theory decides to rear its ugly head again when it hears Garvin is more open than usual to trying new things, so before he changes his mind it presents itself for consideration reminding him that he doesn't need to understand it or give a master class in it anytime soon, just give it some well-deserved airtime. The fundamental interconnectedness of all things decides it is not going to be left on the shelf and joins the dots between a glass of water and seeing dead people when neither of the jokers were paying attention, all of a sudden its ESP time and Quantum theory is back in play, Einstein and his Theory of Relativity is out the window and the Power to Dream is the shortest distance between two locations and the Non-Locality Principle is a doddle if you just sleep on it or have a Voodoo Doll to hand. George reminds us if you are not open you can't see, Garvin looks bewildered as he thinks George is stating the obvious, sure, of course, you can't see if your eyes are closed, you might be asleep travelling the universe via your third eye, your mind's eye, it saves on time and bus fare. Negative is important if atoms are to be stable, people are just a bunch of atoms so they need to be negative also to be stable it seems, just not all the Feck'n time and do we have to listen to the constant complaining, No wonder Electrons find it difficult to make friends. All this Openness can be quite demanding, so they apply their newly adopted subtle art of not giving a Fxxk! about what the crazymakers think, to all that they do in order to be able better prioritise and schedule their limited time to go crazy themselves, get a little insane in the membrane to find the sane within the crazy to get off the road to nowhere and onto the road to somewhere. They are Open to being Human or Just Humans Being, They will not discriminate against any other Beings Being, it's a free universe after all...

Free Flowing - Tapping the Universal Consciousness

Garvin is determined to hear his own thoughts, all the while his bald head is being nuked by the baking summer rays, suddenly he hears a tiny voice from within crying out "Get Out of the Feckn Sun Would ya!". George points out that Super Heroes have it good and the rest of us can eat, work, sleep and just get on with it, as it will all turn out the same anyway. Garvin is nearly certain he knew what he was talking about but now he is not so sure, but he is determined to find out this instant. Turns out Quantum Theory contains all the answers, it seems Determinism and The Uncertainty Principle are at loggerheads but Death and Taxes seem to be a given, depending of course on your social background where the latter at least may be avoided with good planning. Synchronicity is kicking back in again, the lads are not just talking the same talk, walking the same walk, they are now dressing the same. Garvin is not happy as he had both Fat Man and Dead Man Shirts to pick from but probability theory helped uncertainty out in the dressing room and chose the one with the nice pattern, George just stuck his hand in the wardrobe without consulting anyone and bagged the winner. The Jokers discuss Determinism further and conclude that they are both certain they were born, they had a mother, that she was related to her own grandmother and they both were themselves when they last looked in the mirror, but they aren't sure if the person looking back was who it was meant to be in life. Garvin is doodling on the back of a matchbook, if you look closely he has put a bold line through E=MC squared and is busy scribbling something about the shortest distance between two points in space is a zero as you are already there you just haven't remembered yet. George is sure that Christ was a crew member on the starship enterprise and was just on a series of away missions exploring time travel, all the while moving between modern-day New York and a number of locked rooms in early Christian times. This seems to coincide with the founding of ESP and the earliest examples of the Non-Locality Principle. Garvin points out to George that while physicists were trying to quantify the unknown with some level of certainty, they probably proved beyond unreasonable doubt that there is certainly a lot more that they don't know, however that doesn't matter as they are sure that can be ignored if they create a new symbol for it, Let's just call it the "Grand Observer Dilemma" for the moment...

Out of the Shadows

George is playing with candles, there's wax all over the place, Garvin can't see properly in this light, he is not sure whether it is fifty shades of grey or green, either way, it's too dark, there's too little light and he is fed up living in his own shadow, how can he ever hope to become a shadow of his former self if he never turned the light on. George keeps saying that he is more than capable and that people need to accept that, Garvin reminds him to hold his candle higher, maybe above his head and then people will be able to see for themselves. He holds up two costumes to George and asks him which one should he wear "Batman" or "Ninja Turtle", as its time they step out of the shadows. The Crazy Makers are no longer making house calls, so the guys decide to help themselves by helping others, Garvin still enjoys keeping Georges Ego in check though when it comes to Fiddle Playing. Anywhere they encounter negativity they will try to give it a positive spin, Garvin is lingering too long on page three again, George is happy to listen to his student if only Garvin would stop quoting Chopra in response to any question asked. To anyone looking on, they would see two middle-aged men taking baby steps while shining a torch into the darkness in front of them, one telling the other not to forget to Shut the Door behind, he is giving a shove for his insolence, they look up and notice a sea of confused faces waiting for something, they look at each other shrug their shoulders and step onto the Stage...

Actually

The Jokers are discussing their various tells which are multiplying by the minute from like to sort of and interestingly from actually to going and then in combination particularly sort of like actually.
Actually the Surprising Truth is wrapped up in the word is "To Act" or to make Real by Doing, All this time their favourite go-to word was telling them to Stop Talking and Just Go Do it.
They have both arrived at the Ah Hah moment of Knowing is not Doing, they need to stop questioning and start acting, well not acting that's pretending but rather acting on and thus doing and then do again.
Garvin likes his own company, however, George points out that one is a very lonely number, a shared experience makes for a better journey, Thelma and Louise aside.
Garvin tells his wife the thing he likes doing most is nothing and he is particularly good at it, if he doesn't say so himself. He is very very happy doing it, she should try it sometime and points out his podcast that affirms to him that it's ok to do nothing, she points out that it is himself on the podcast but takes his point.
His poor daughter gets a lecture on motivational journeys by inadvertently enquiring as to his preference for a tea or coffee with his lunch. The Family agree to put a Do Not Disturb sign on the Studio Door or Suffer a cascade of mad-eyed motivational babble at your peril.
George has got his tools out and is disassembling his chatterbox, the milky way fell out of one unfolded side, highlighting a bunch of mirrors in the process, Garvin has no clue what is going on but assures him that he should be able to squeeze it back in again and tie it off with a bit of Duck Tape, no one will notice so not to worry.
George has just become a granddad for the first time, Garvin says to enjoy it while it lasts as time is fleeting and there's potentially and extinction-level event on the horizon in give or take 10 to 10000 years time, it's all relative and just a matter of perspective.
George leaves Garvin on a Rant about he is growing everywhere but where he wants to, Balder, Fatter, Uglier, Older just not wiser. He finishes on the fact he actually has a lot more to give and his genie is free and passing out loaves and fishes to anyone that wants one.
George is complaining about being on the road to nowhere or Hornsby railway track to be more precise, the irony is no longer lost on him that it's a single circular track and you need to go off road if you want to end up somewhere different.
The Jokers agree every chapter has a beginning, middle and end, that they need to keep writing the story, the never-ending story until it arrives at its natural end in Rome, no point in grieving every chapter, George likes to however Garvin is happy to shoot the horse he rode in on sometimes so there's no going back.
It is actually time to let them go, the podcasts, the chapters to have their own lives and journeys to make new friends and influence people to become real...